“I always hated high-school shows and high-school movies, because they were always about the cool kids. It was always about dating and sex, and all the popular kids, and the good-looking kids. And the nerds were super-nerdy cartoons, with tape on their glasses. I never saw 'my people' portrayed accurately.”

“I give dating advice on a regular basis. It's not that I'm any expert, but it's always nice to share that with your friends.”

“I started dating older men, and I would fall in love with them. I thought they could teach me about life.”

“Stuff about me dating Kim Kardashian - I have no idea where that came from and all these other rumors. I don't think I'm that type.”

“If your best friend has stolen your girlfriend, it does become life and death.”

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”

“I don't have the best dating track record.”

“Do not just look at your boyfriend as just a boyfriend. Look at him as a friend, too.”

“I'm not great at dating, but I need to do it to relax.”

“I've had enough boyfriends and enough issues. I'd seen enough train wrecks.”

“I'm not interested in dating. I like being with my own best friend, me. Certain women, particularly older women, cannot believe I like going to a social event by myself. But I do.”

“I can't even explain to you how terrible that feels, that I equate dating a woman with punishment, shame, guilt, disappointment, reproach, reprimand, persecution. It's a nightmare.”

“My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.”

“I also find it interesting that a lot of people in their 30s are not married and don't have kids. There are a lot of people in this age bracket that are out there dating and trying to find love. And I never thought that at my age I would be.”

“The prospect of dating someone in her twenties becomes less appealing as you get older. At some point in your fife, your tolerance level goes down and you realize that, with someone much younger, there's nothing really to talk about.”

“I wish I was dating one of the ladies in 'Bollywood Hero.' They're gorgeous. Any of them.”

“My original inspiration was my mom: a few years after the death of my dad, she started dating one my teachers!”

“I've had a little bad, bad media luck the new year. Well, apparently I'm dating Bill Clinton, which makes me nervous. I didn't know, though.”

“I'm much more interested in what an actor has to say about something substantial and important than who they're dating or what clothes they're wearing or some other asinine, insignificant aspect of their life.”

“The Google algorithm was a significant development. I've had thank-you emails from people whose lives have been saved by information on a medical website or who have found the love of their life on a dating website.”

“I wouldn't tell you anything about anybody I cared about because it becomes entertainment for other people, and it sort of just cheapens everything in your life. I would never tell you if I was dating anybody.”