“As you watch the world crumble, try taking your Armageddon with this sprinkling of irony: Over the last three decades, business has got virtually everything it wanted, and its doomsday scenario from the 1970s has come true because of it.”

“In business, the competition will bite you if you keep running, if you stand still, they will swallow you.”

“When I've gone back to work, it's always with that sense of inevitability. That may be a complete delusion, but it's the one that I need to get out of bed and go about my business. That sense that I can't avoid this thing. I better just get on with it.”

“Advertising is a racket, like the movies and the brokerage business. You cannot be honest without admitting that its constructive contribution to humanity is exactly minus zero.”

“The whole point of being in this business and being blessed and being successful is that you're able to do things for your friends or your family, which means that they can have something special in their lives, too.”

“I am a sensitive writer, actor and director. Talking business disgusts me. If you want to talk business, call my disgusting personal manager.”

“I traveled the state of Florida for two years campaigning. I have never met a job creator who told me that they were waiting for the next tax increase before they started growing their business. I've never met a single job creator who's ever said to me I can't wait until government raises taxes again so I can go out and create a job.”

“My revenue was $4 million my first year in business, off of one $20 item.”

“The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules, while quietly playing by your own.”