“Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to come out of it with a few good songs.”

“I ain't scared to do another dating show, but I ain't really trying to. I want to do a talk show or something. I've done enough dating on television. I'm ready to spread my wings, and go down other avenues.”

“The rich are different. Their wants are very high maintenance. They'll pick eye color and hair color, all the way down to what she does for a living, what school she went to. Their list can be extremely long. But at the end of the day, dating is dating, because they're human beings.”

“What I remember most about junior homecoming was my date getting sick afterwards. That kinda sucked. Then, senior year, someone got gum in her hair when we were dancing. She had to get one of the chaperones to take her to the office and cut up her hair. I felt really bad for her, but it worked out fine.”

“I'm enjoying dating. I'm single, though, I'm not in a relationship.”

“I change my mind so much I need two boyfriends and a girlfriend.”

“I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.”

“Women always try to see the one good part of The Weird Guy because the dating landscape is so bleak. Women will say, 'He's very odd, but he likes to cook. He's creepy, but he makes good pancakes!'”

“Dating is just awkward moments and one person wants more than the other. It's just that constant strangeness. I think it's a very real thing.”