“You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”

“They have a kind of Bob Hope and Bing Crosby thing going on.”

“On August 28, 2010, Fox News messiah Glenn Beck hosted a 'Restoring Honor' revival meeting featuring sexy guest star Sarah Palin, much as Bob Hope would roll out Raquel Welch in white go-go boots on his U.S.O. tours to give our fighting men a morale lift in their khakis.”

“I think in my case, I had no choice but to have a good sense of humor. I grew up with my dad, Danny Thomas, and George Burns and Bob Hope and Milton Berle and Sid Caesar and all those guys were at our house all the time and telling jokes and making each other laugh.”

“Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.”

“A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?”

“The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.”

“If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.”

“If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.”