“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.”

“President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003.”

“Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.”

“This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.”

“Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen.”

“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.”