“It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.”

“Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.”

“Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.”

“I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.”

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”

“The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.”

“I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.”

“The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.”

“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.”

“Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”

“Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.”

“The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.”

“It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.”