“Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car.”

“I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.”

“Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.”

“There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.”