“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”

“Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.”

“Dogs are my favorite people.”

“I try not to wear anything I have to fidget with - there's nothing worse than wearing something and pulling down the hem and re-adjusting the top. My pet hate is when girls wear those strapless dresses and spend the whole night yanking them up.”

“Pet stores just sell their animals.”

“What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.”

“I have felt cats rubbing their faces against mine and touching my cheek with claws carefully sheathed. These things, to me, are expressions of love.”

“Humans should always exercise and watch what they eat. So with your pet, make sure they get enough exercise, make sure they're getting fed at the same time every day and getting the nutrition they need. And make sure they get a lot of love and attention you both need. That's why you have them!”

“The smallest feline is a masterpiece.”