“Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability.”

“At each of these northern posts there were interesting experiences in store for me, as one who had read all the books of northern travel and dreamed for half a lifetime of the north and that was - almost daily meeting with famous men.”

“We played in Texas about a year ago, at Emo's, the famous country and western club in Austin. And I figured, well, if I'm finally gonna die onstage, that's where it's going to be!”

“I try to become more humble and more myself with every year. There was a while when I got famous where I was so confused and my head was spinning.”

“I guess some people want to be performers because they want to be famous.”

“And my marriage was perfect when I wasn't famous.”

“You do now have one in three people, as shown by the famous Carlton Monarchy debate poll, saying they want to get rid of the Monarchy. That was unthinkable even three, four years ago.”

“Did you ever stop to think why cops are always famous for being dumb? Simple. Because they don't have to be anything else.”

“When you look at Michael Jackson, there's nobody who loves him in that family, nobody. If they did, they'd tell him he didn't have to do all that in order to be famous. All he has to do is keep doing his music and be himself. Michael's been a little touched for about 20 years, but somebody needs to pull him aside and tell him they love him.”