“Nothing amazes me anymore.”

“These people are amazing. It's so emotional I was thinking about wearing waterproof mascara.”

“Seek art from every time and place, in any form, to connect with those who really move you.”

“I'm not materialistic. I believe in presents from the heart, like a drawing that a child does.”

“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”

“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.”

“The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.”

“No, I regret nothing, all I regret is having been born, dying is such a long tiresome business I always found.”

“When did it become a problem to be a small businessman and become successful? The small businessman - like my father, or like me?”

“It's wonderful to have the most important thing in the world there first thing in the morning. And especially in this business, where the opportunity to think everything is about you is there every day, now I really know that it isn't all about me.”

“Never have more children than you have car windows.”

“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.”

“Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.”

“I don't put myself on Jeff Beck's level, but I can relate to him when he says he'd rather be working on his car collection than playing the guitar.”

“Good-looking individuals are treated better than homely ones in virtually every social situation, from dating to trial by jury.”

“You need education. You need subsistence protection. We need jobs and social security. These are preconditions under which it will perhaps be possible to deal with these complex circumstances.”

“When you live in an alcoholic family or an abusive family, you tiptoe, you don't want to step on any mines.”

“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”

“Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.”

“Tom Cruise, he's a lot more famous than me.”

“Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.”

“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.”

“On August 28, 2010, Fox News messiah Glenn Beck hosted a 'Restoring Honor' revival meeting featuring sexy guest star Sarah Palin, much as Bob Hope would roll out Raquel Welch in white go-go boots on his U.S.O. tours to give our fighting men a morale lift in their khakis.”

“Whether you've seen angels floating around your bedroom or just found a ray of hope at a lonely moment, choosing to believe that something unseen is caring for you can be a life-shifting exercise.”

“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”

“When humor goes, there goes civilization.”

“I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and a healthy gold card.”

“If I ever have sex with someone I might be able to develop a sense of humor.”

“Learning is always rebellion... Every bit of new truth discovered is revolutionary to what was believed before.”

“Every time you go in, it's like starting over. You don't know how you did the other records. You're learning all over. It's some weird musician amnesia, or maybe the road wipes it out.”

“The spotlight will always be on me, but it's something I'm learning to live with as the years go by.”

“One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.”

“Children make your life important.”

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.”

“I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”

“I'm a fan of action movies.”

“We have nothing in our history or position to invite aggression we have everything to beckon us to the cultivation of relations of peace and amity with all nations.”

“And I've come to the place where I believe that there's no way to solve these problems, these issues - there's nothing that we can do that will solve the problems that we have and keep the peace, unless we solve it through God, unless we solve it in being our highest self. And that's a pretty tall order.”

“You cannot make peace with terrorists. The normal dividing lines between war and peace do not apply.”

“If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”

“Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.”

“It has always seemed strange to me... the things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling, are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest, are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first they love the produce of the second.”

“No one is guaranteed happiness. You can pursue it, but if you happen to find success along the way on that road to happiness, Conservatives believe you should not be demonized or penalized for it.”

“Without failure there is no sweetness in success. There's no understanding of it.”

“I wake up every morning and I feel like I'm juggling glass balls. I live in Los Angeles, my business is run out of London, and most evenings I'm cuddled up in front of Skype, in my dressing gown, speaking with my studio in London. I travel a lot, my team travel a lot, but I wouldn't have it any other way.”

“Man, unlike anything organic or inorganic in the universe, grows beyond his work, walks up the stairs of his concepts, emerges ahead of his accomplishments.”

“Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.”