“Politics is just show business for ugly people.”

“You aren't famous until my mother has heard of you.”

“You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.”

“Jay Leno is not a guy who likes change. He eats the same food every day.”

“Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.”